FROSTY IS NOT CUTE!
How does that memorable song go?
“The weather outside is frightful, but the TV inside is delightful…”
That’s how the song goes, right?
There are people out there that love the winter. Such a crazy concept to me! They love that nip in the air and they have a warm spot in their hearts for Jack Frost. Runny noses, frosted breath, and numb toes – that’s their jam! Frozen jam? Sounds like a special kind of frigid hell to me. Winter is the equivalent of a swimming level in Super Mario Bros 3.
NOTHING DELIGHTFUL ABOUT THAT!
It is nothing but an uphill battle for many, many months – I’m talking about winter, of course, or am I…? In one of those pesky swimming levels it’s the same frustrating deal – you just struggle through it, cursing the developer the whole time, and wondering when it will end. “I have to keep tapping the B button to swim?! Or is it the A button? It’s maddening!”
You ever meet someone that says something crazy like, “I kind of like the swimming levels…”
What the fu–!
Seriously though, what is the appeal of the snow, the ice and the slush? No warmth and only uncomfortable chills. So many baffling notions. People bundling up in all their winter gear before going outside has always made me think of astronauts gearing up before a moon walk. The only difference being that the astronauts get to walk on the freaking moon!
STAY INSIDE! STAY ALIVE!
I simply don’t understand the appeal of winter’s embrace. Maybe it’s because a nerd, or more specifically a gamer, is a natural indoorsman rather than an outdoorsman. Not so much “rugged” as “likes rugged floors.” The only survival skills I have are in-game ones. My idea of a good time in the frigid cold is to avoid the frigid cold. Stay inside! Grab a blanket or several! Pop some kernels with loads of butter and salt. Relax and binge. Cuddle your cat or your dog or your significant other. Enjoy the evening with a relaxing flick!
Cue the ‘buh-bum’ Netflix sound…